Culture, Kitsch, and Kitchens.

Posted 6 months ago

Sweet potato fries with spicy mayo, refreshing green salad, and a greasebomb of cheesesteak with american cheese and caramelized onions. Sunday Brunch strikes again!

Posted 6 months ago

A bit overcooked, but this steak in garlic and basil marinara is delicious! Accompanied by frites, of course. And BBQ sauce, ‘cause I’m classy.

The Pumpkin-Maple Fiasco, or How I Learned to…Nope, Didn’t Even Learn Anything.

Posted 6 months ago

Tonight, I tried to create an encore presentation. Last Thanksgiving, I made Martha Stewart’s pumpkin whoopie pies to great deliciousness and delight. Tonight, for tomorrow’s company Halloween party, I made pumpkin-flavored shapes with maple cream cheese frosting. The frosting came out great, that much I will concede (to myself).

However—oh, however.

The pie part of the whoopie pie is really a soft, cakey cookie, which is hard to make when you don’t have any cookie sheets. Crap #1. Solution #1: Make shapes, using a mini-loaf pan and a mini-cupcake pan. Okay, well that’s not so bad.

Great. Stuff’s prepped and ready to go, all ingredients are at hand and available—except for dark brown sugar. Oh, well. Light brown sugar will serve just fine. Crap #2: The light brown sugar is a light brown ROCK OF GIBRALTAR. Ain’t no breaking that thing up. It’s like Tony & Ti…oh wait. It’s like Susan Sarandon and Tim Rob…oh wait. It’s like my grandparents! Yay love! But sucks to this sugar rock. Solution #2: Only using regular sugar, eliminating the molasses-y caramel loveliness brown sugar lends this type of cookie. Not a dealbreaker. I’ll muddle through.

I start mixing dry ingredients, then move on to whisk the sugar and oil together. This is fiiiine, everything will work out juuust—CRAP ON A CRACKER I HAVE NO CAN OPENER. Crap #3: With a recipe that requires A CAN of CANNED pumpkin, a can opener is kind of crucial. Solution #3: YouTube “How to open can without can opener”. Watch stupid videos of people opening cans with knife. Decide to open can like so: Hammer a nail into can to get things going. Insert knife into can and pray you don’t cut your finger wide open like that time you were cutting fancy Italian parmesan. Pry can open with pliers because you are scared of the knife’s power. ET VOILA! IT’S SO EASY! If you have a toolbox handy.

Might I also add that this entire time I was simultaneously chilly because of the open window and paranoid that the open window would not be enough to stop my oh-so-sensitive (seriously, I’m surprised it doesn’t go off when I shower) fire alarm from making a noise so shrill that it makes my heart pound and my body shake. And doesn’t shut off when you hit off. And is connected to both power and a battery so I can’t make it stop. FUN WITH BAKING!